Thursday, June 30, 2016

Everybody Dies....

It’s Time to Have the Talk

1467120157_GettyImages-BA62909
Most parent and kids don’t want to discuss the practical issues of aging and death. But it can bring peace of mind and avert financial disaster.

As an e-vite it's a guaranteed loser: It's summer! Come talk about the financial and long-term caregiving needs and eventual death of your parents!

Doing that, though, could make later life a lot smoother for both parents and kids. An improved economy may be having something of a perverse effect here: The prospect of the parents' comfortable retirement1—parents had to have investable assets of at least $100,000 to qualify for the survey—appears to have people pushing off these uncomfortable discussions, according to Fidelity Investments' third annual Family & Finance study. 

The study surveyed more than 1,200 parents aged 55 and older, along with one of their adult children at least 25 years old, on topics that range from elder care, estate planning, and the ability to cover living expenses in retirement, to see if parents and kids were in agreement. This year, the survey included new questions about the role children play as parents get older, which revealed that four in 10 families "disagree on the role their child will play as parents age." 

But to agree or disagree, you first have to have the conversation, and that's where Fidelity found some backsliding. This year, adult children were far less likely than they were in 2014 to say that these conversations should take place well before their parents retire or get sick: some 37 percent of adult children, down from 52 percent in 2014. 

That can leave parents and kids with very different expectations. For example, 72 percent of parents expect one of their kids to be a long-term caregiver in retirement, if necessary3. That surprised 40 percent of the children that parents said would fill that role. At the same time, more millennials said they were taking on caregiver duties for a parent.

Overall, while 93 percent of parents didn't find becoming financially dependent on their children acceptable, only 30 percent of children said the prospect of their parents becoming financially reliant on them was unacceptable. (Nice kids!) 

Communication about wills and estate planning was also lacking. More than 27 percent of the children that parents expected to be executor of their estate weren't aware of it.4 The study found that 55 percent of parents assumed that their oldest child would be their executor.

Suzanne Schmitt, Fidelity's vice president of family engagement, said that the families she sees handling estate issues successfully take into account the children's personalities, what they're good at and are inclined to do, and where they live. 

Money may be the most taboo topic in many families, and it showed in the survey. Thirty-six percent of children whose parents expected them to help manage investments and retirement finances weren't aware of it. 

"A lot of people hold off talking to their adult kids about finances because they don't want to share how much they have," said Schmitt. "We say, OK, but start sharing where you hold those accounts, or say, hey, if you don't know where to start if something happens to me, call this person or that adviser." 

It's important to talk about aging and money early because the best decisions don't get made in the midst of a crisis. There are no do-overs if a parent, for example, falls for a financial scammer and wires away all of the money, or if one becomes incapacitated and can't share personal wishes. 

Schmitt's advice for launching these discussions is to start small.

"People get overwhelmed at the prospect, so they procrastinate. Start with tactical elements that take the emotions out, like letting kids know where the keys are in a crisis and where documents are," Schmitt said. Get people comfortable with being uncomfortable, she said, and keep the conversation going. 

Wednesday, June 29, 2016

The Merging Worlds of Technology and Cars (BW)

The line between the technology and automotive industries is blurring. The rise of rideshare companies such as Uber and Lyft means that transportation is being tied ever more closely to your cell phone, while autonomous driving technology is turning your car into a computer. But these developments are expensive: Carmakers’ R&D budgets jumped 61 percent, to $137 billion from 2010 to 2014.
Fiat Chrysler Chief Executive Officer Sergio Marchionne thinks it makes no sense for carmakers to spend billions of dollars developing competing, yet largely identical systems. To share some of the risk—and the cost—the incumbent automotive giants and their would-be disruptors are teaming up in an ever-growing, ever more complex series of alliances.
So Fiat Chrysler, for instance, has paired up with Google to develop 100 self-driving minivans, and is in discussions with Uber about a similar venture. Google has, in turn, invested in Uber, as haveToyotaMicrosoft and Tata, owner of Jaguar Land Rover. Bill Ford, chairman of the eponymous carmaker, has meanwhile invested in Lyft, as has General Motors, and Lyft has partnered with China’s Didi, itself the subject of a $1 billion investment from Apple.













The prize is lucrative, and the carmakers want to ensure that software players don’t win the lion’s share of it. McKinsey estimates that rideshare and onboard-data services could generate an additional $1.5 trillion of annual automotive revenue by 2030, adding to the $5.2 trillion from traditional car sales and services. And it’s attractive for consumers too: It costs an average of $8,558 per year to own a car in the U.S., but each vehicle is used just 4 percent of the time. Ridesharing in an autonomous vehicle could ensure that cars are always in use.

Monday, June 27, 2016

Primero cae un mentiroso que.. (Ricardo Tribin)

E N  M I   O P I N I O N

Dos razones para "justificar" las mentiras

Según los expertos en el oprobioso arte de mentir existen dos razones poderosas para justificar una mentira. Estas son el miedo, y una vez más el miedo. Ello implica que, en un buen número de casos, las personas mienten por temor a las consecuencias de sus actos.

De ahí que cuando a un delincuente le preguntan si es inocente o culpable de haber cometido un delito este, pese a haberlo hecho directa o indirectamente, con pasmosa serenidad lo niega, pues su temor a lo que le pueda pasar es grande.

Las leyes permiten la confesión y admisión de las faltas y si en el proceso confiesan, quienes están involucrados, sus penas se pueden ver reducidas grandemente. Hasta ahí todo está bien excepto que, en no pocos casos, o se acude a testigos falsos o se involucran personas que no tienen nada que ver en el asunto pero que, al convertirse en una presea del ente acusador, el testimonio sirve para eximir al presunto delincuente e involucrar al que no lo es. Por eso eventos como el de Dreyfus en la antigüedad son hoy en día bastante comunes,  todo ello lamentablemente en detrimento de la administración de justicia.



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" Desde Roma con valor " entrando a

  
























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Thursday, June 23, 2016

Brexit Polls and Markets Disagree in Campaign’s Final Hours (BW)


  • If Britain Votes Leave, What Happens Next?
  • Currency, equity markets bet on ‘Remain’ victory Thursday
  • Polls show race is deadlocked in final campaign stretch

'Catholics I've met across Europe are overwhelmingly negative about the EU'

Britain is in the final day of campaigning before its Thursday referendum on European Union membership, with opinion polls and financial markets at odds over the outcome. 
Brexit on Bloomberg:
  • Investors are piling money into bets on a victory for the “Remain” campaign, led by Prime Minister David Cameron. The pound has surged to a five-month high against the dollar and global stocks gained for a fourth day on Wednesday, with the U.K. benchmark index erasing its monthly decline. Bookmakers have shortened their odds on a vote to stay.
Polls, meanwhile, say the race is too close to call after a swing toward the “Leave” campaign came to an apparent halt last week following the murder of Labour Party lawmaker Jo Cox, a supporter of staying in the EU.
“Rising anticipation that ‘Remain’ will win the vote is driving the market,” said John Plassard, a senior equity-sales trader at Mirabaud Securities in Geneva. “Even if polls are close, people are paying more attention to the bookmakers because that was a much better predictor in past referendums.”
The British currency is already trading at levels economists forecast it would reach after a decision to stay in the EU. Sterling was up 0.6 percent at $1.4737 as 3 p.m. London time. The median estimate in a Bloomberg poll of economists earlier this month was for it to trade in a range of $1.45 to $1.50 the day after a “Remain” victory. The Bloomberg British Pound Index, which tracks sterling against seven major peers, rose 0.4 percent and reached its strongest level since May on a closing basis.
European equities climbed again on Wednesday, extending their strongest three-day run since August. Britain’s FTSE 100 Index has rebounded 5.3 percent from its mid-June low. An index of betting flows compiled by Oddschecker shows the chance of Brexit has fallen to about 25 percent from 43 percent since June 14.
Less than 18 hours before voting booths open Thursday, both sides are making emotional appeals to the electorate, describing starkly different versions of the U.K.’s prospects outside the EU. A record number of Britons, 46.5 million, have registered to vote, according to the Electoral Commission.

Churchill and Botham

Speaking to supporters in central London, U.K. Independence Party leader Nigel Farage invoked Winston Churchill, the Falklands war and cricketer Ian Botham to rally enthusiasm for his vision of the future. "It may be tight, it may be narrow, but I believe we are going to win," Farage said. 
Former Prime Minister John Major, by contrast, called pro-Brexit campaigners "the gravediggers of our prosperity" in a speech in the southwestern city of Bristol. If “Leave” is victorious, "we would be seriously diminished as a country," he said. "I don’t want a Broken Britain without influence."
French president Francois Hollande said the U.K. would "no longer be able to access the common market" after leaving the EU, ruling out privileged access to the European economy that has been proposed by some “Leave” campaigners.
In addition to the potential economic consequences of Brexit, the domestic political stakes are high. Scotland’s Parliament should have the right to propose another referendum on independence if it "faces the prospect of being taken out of Europe effectively against our will," Scottish National Party leader Nicola Sturgeon said on Bloomberg Television. Polls show Scots are generally more pro-EU than the far more numerous English.
With different polls putting each side ahead U.K.-wide, the BBC held a debate Tuesday evening in London before a raucous audience of 6,000. The fiercest arguments were within the governing Conservative Party. Both former London Mayor Boris Johnson and Energy Minister Andrea Leadsom, arguing for “Leave,” were confronted by the leader of the party in Scotland, Ruth Davidson.
“You are being asked to make a decision that is irreversible, we can’t change, we wake up on Friday and we don’t like it and we are being sold it on a lie,” Davidson said. “They lied about the cost of Europe, they lied about Turkey’s entrance to Europe,” she told the audience.
Johnson urged the nation to make Thursday “our country’s independence day.”
“They say we can’t do it,” he said. “We say we can. They say we have no choice but to bow down to Brussels. We say they are woefully underestimating this country.”

‘Lies’

The intra-Conservative discord highlighted the challenges Cameron faces uniting his party even if “Remain” wins. Sayeeda Warsi, a former chairman of the party, this week accused Justice Secretary Michael Gove of propagating “lies” about the EU, the latest in a string of increasingly personal attacks exchanged by senior Tories during the campaign.
The “Leave” camp had one key message in the TV debate -- “take back control” -- and hammered it home repeatedly. “I’m passionately a believer in immigration, but it’s got to be controlled,” Johnson said.
The “Remain” campaign is emphasizing its message of the economic risks of a Brexit in the final stretch. Wednesday’s Times newspaper published a letter from 1,285 leaders of businesses employing 1.75 million people, saying that “Britain leaving the EU would mean uncertainty for our firms, less trade with Europe and fewer jobs.” Among the signatories was Michael Bloomberg, founder and majority owner of Bloomberg LP, the parent company of Bloomberg News.

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Where to Invest $10,000 Right Now (BW)

Five experts weigh in.
Successful investors take risks. The trick is to take smart ones, in a diversified portfolio.

Two things to do immediately: Make sure you're covered on the financial basics. Once that's done, you can start looking for smart ways to invest any excess cash making you next-to-nothing in a savings account.

We asked five leading investors to share their best ideas on where to invest $10,000 right now. Beaten-up emerging markets are popular. High-dividend stocks in Japan and low-cost target-date funds also got a nod.

There are many ways to invest in the areas these experts recommend. For those who want to take the simplest, broadest route into the asset classes highlighted below, Bloomberg Industries' exchange-traded fund analyst Eric Balchunas offers ETF suggestions after each entry.

Here's what our expert panel said.

Barry Ritholtz: Think Cheap

Chairman and chief investment officer, Ritholtz Wealth Management

Assuming your portfolio is global, diverse, and mainly in low-cost indexes, we'd look at investment options that have underperformed over the past five years or so and are ripe for a reversion towards their historic average returns. Unlike cheap stocks, inexpensive asset classes have a lower chance of big drawdowns (broad asset classes don’t go to zero) and a higher probability of average or better returns.

Over the past five years, the U.S. stock market, using the exchange-traded fund SPY as a proxy, have gained 77 percent. The Emerging Markets Index (EEM), which includes almost 850 companies, is down 21.8 percent. That almost 100 percent spread is only the first part of our calculus. When we look at the longer-term cyclically adjusted price-earnings ratio (CAPE), a broad measure of how expensive or cheap a stock is, the U.S. is the most expensive, with a CAPE of 24.6. You have to go to the emerging markets to find a CAPE of 13.7.

Two inexpensive investments are DFA Emerging Markets Core Equity (DFCEX, purchased through advisers) and the Vanguard Emerging Markets Stock Index Fund Admiral Shares (VEMAX). The DFA fund costs 0.62 percentage point of assets invested, about half of the average emerging market fund. Vanguard's fund costs 0.15 percentage point. Over five years, the DFA fund is down 3.7 percent and the Vanguard fund is down 4.2 percent. Over 10 years, the DFA fund is up 4.5 percent and Vanguard's fund is up 3 percent.

A caveat: This ugly duckling investment will likely need time—quarters, or even years—to blossom into a beautiful swan.

Ways to play it with ETFs: Bloomberg ETF analyst Eric Balchunas points to the iShares Core MSCI Emerging Markets ETF (IEMG) , which holds 2,000 emerging market stocks and charges 0.16 percent of assets. For an ETF with a smoother ride, he likes the iShares Edge MSCI Minimum Volatility Emerging Markets ETF (EEMV).  It charges 0.25 percent of assets.

Sarah Ketterer: Play Japan
CEO and fund manager, Causeway Capital Management

Something interesting is happening in the Land of the Rising Sun. The Japanese equity market has slipped 20 percent from its five-year high, reached last August, reflecting an economy unresponsive to monetary stimulus. Despite this gloom, many Japanese companies have the financial wherewithal to reward shareholders with dividends.

As of late May, over 200 Japanese stocks with market caps above $1 billion also have dividend yields greater than 2 percent (several offer yields of 4 percent), with dividend payout ratios less than 50 percent. In other words, these dividends should be well covered by earnings, and (thanks to the low payout ratios) have room to grow.

Some of the best-managed companies with generous dividends include Sumitomo Mitsui Financial Group Inc. (4 percent yield), Japan Airlines Co. (3 percent), Komatsu Ltd. (3 percent), KDDI Corp., and Hitachi Ltd. (both 2.5 percent). Bonds can’t compete. The 10-year Japanese government bond yield is negative, making generous dividends all the more appealing.

In the U.S., investor demand for high-dividend-yielding stocks, and exchange-traded funds that track such stocks, has risen sharply in our own prolonged low-interest-rate environment. Perhaps the same will happen in Japan. Mrs. Watanabe, the proverbial Japanese retail investor, wants income. It may make sense to own some of these income-generating, better-quality Japanese stocks before she does.

Ways to play it with ETFs: The WisdomTree Japan Hedged Equity Fund (DXJ) goes long the stocks mentioned by Ketterer, and many more, said Balchunas. It also shorts—bets against—the yen, and weights stocks by the size of their dividend. It yields 3 percent.

Mark Mobius: Look to China
Executive chairman, Templeton Emerging Markets Group

The best place to invest $10,000 now would be in a diversified emerging-market portfolio. In our opinion, the long-term investment case for emerging markets remains positive as the region’s economic growth rates in general continue to be faster than those of developed markets.

In 2016, for example, emerging markets are forecast to grow 4.1 percent, more than double the 1.9 percent expansion expected in developed markets. In addition, emerging markets overall have much greater foreign reserves than developed markets, and the ratios of debt to gross domestic product in emerging-market countries generally remains lower than those of developed markets. Investors remain considerably underweight these markets, which we believe is supportive of further re-rating over the longer term.

Although investors have been concerned with China’s slowing growth rate, China remains one of the largest and fastest-growing economies in the world. We continue to see potential investment opportunities across different segments of China’s market and believe there is still a lot of room for infrastructure growth to catch up with global and regional peers'.

On Brazil, despite the dire headlines, the country has great export potential in manufacturing and agriculture. Additionally, we are encouraged to see greater concrete action taken to tackle corruption, which fuels our optimism that Brazil could be on the brink of positive change.

Ways to play it with ETFs: Balchunas suggests the iShares MSCI China ETF (MCHI),  which tracks all kinds of China shares, except A shares, and is the cheapest in its class with an expense ratio of 0.62 percent. Another idea: the iShares MSCI Brazil Capped ETF (EWZ),  which he said is the most liquid of the emerging markets ETFs and tracks the largest stocks. It, too, charges 0.62 percent.

Rob Arnott: Profit From Fear
Co-founder, Research Affiliates

Many investors prefer comfort, chasing what is popular and loved, rather than pursuing what is out of favor. The markets do not reward comfort. Whatever is newly expensive has two attributes: wonderful past returns and, in most cases, lousy future returns. Whatever is cheap became cheap by treating us badly in the past, but is priced to deliver superior returns. Successful contrarian investing requires us to live with discomfort, for being “wrong” and alone. But bargains do not exist in the absence of fear.

Where to invest today? The protracted growth-stock bull market is currently presenting the best opportunity to pivot into deep value. Why? For a very simple reason—people are afraid. Recent markets have seen a horrible storm for value investors. Developed value stocks have lagged behind growth stocks by 3 percent per year for the three years ending May 31. The storm intensified in 2015 with value stocks lagging behind growth stocks by 7.6 percent across developed stock markets, a magnitude only surpassed by the tech bubble and the global financial crisis. We also felt the pain in emerging markets, where value stocks became as cheap, relative to growth, as they were at the peak of the tech bubble.

History teaches that when valuations are extreme, “mean reversion,” a move towards historical norms, is likely. Once value stocks turn, the recovery can be fast and intense. Buying value stocks when they are most shunned, especially in the deeply unloved emerging markets, is scary. The best investment opportunities are often scary.

Diversify. But carve out 10 to 20 percent for the most unloved part of the market: emerging markets value.

Ways to play it with ETFs: There is no emerging markets value ETF. The First Trust Emerging Markets AlphaDEX Fund (FEM)  uses growth and value factors to select stocks. Its holdings have an average price-earnings ratio of 11.5, one of the lowest in the emerging market ETF category, said Balchunas. It's pricey, charging 0.80 percent.

Francis Kinniry: Hit the Targets
Principal, Vanguard Investment Strategy Group

If the investment was for a longer-term objective, I would determine when I would need to start withdrawing the money and then select the target-date fund that most closely matches that date. In a single target-date fund you can get exposure to thousands of securities, and dozens of different asset classes and factors, potentially covering the vast majority of the public capital markets. This can be accomplished at a very low cost, and low costs have been demonstrated in every study we have seen to be the best predictor of success.

And target-date funds are low-maintenance, rebalancing among all of the asset classes and factors. Numerous studies show that investors not only fail to rebalance but they tend to follow recent performance, costing them 1 to 2 percent in return annually. Simplicity is competitive, and target-date funds are simple, though they can be extremely sophisticated under the hood. Of course, much will depend on the fund sponsor, but our target-date funds have been extremely competitive with the most sophisticated institutional investment vehicles available.

Ways to play it with ETFs: A target-date fund has lots of parts to it that an exchange-traded fund doesn't, so there's no real way to play Kinniry's idea with ETFs. An asset allocation play, however, could be the iShares Core Growth Allocation ETF (AOR), said Balchunas. It has 60 percent in equity ETFs and 40 percent in bond ETFs. It charges 0.27 percent.



Tuesday, June 21, 2016

The world's fastest supercomputers


The top 10

1. ​Sunway TaihuLight - China (New entrant)

The brand new Sunway TaihuLight supercomputer is three times faster than the previous reigning champ, the Tianhe-2.

Sitting within the National Supercomputing Center in the city of Wuxi, the Chinese system will aid research and engineering work, ranging from climate modelling to advanced manufacturing.

Unlike the Intel-powered Tianhe-2, previously the fastest supercomputer in the world, the machine relies heavily on Chinese technology, utilising a new ShenWei processor and custom interconnect made in Wuxi.

The TaihuLight has 40,960 64-bit, RISC processors, each of which has 260 cores. Together these 1.45 GHz SW26010 processors have a peak performance equivalent to 125 petaflops (quadrillion floating point operations per second) -- 93 petaflops in the Linpack benchmark. Each compute node has 32GB DDR3 memory, for 1.3 PB across the whole machine. The TaihuLight runs the Linux-based Sunway Raise OS and drew 15.4MW when benchmarked, less than the 17.8MW of the Tianhe-2.
​2. Tianhe-2 - China (Previously: No 1)

Capable of performing more than 33 quadrillion calculations per second at launch, the Tianhe-2 held onto the top spot for two years.

Deployed at the National Supercomputer Center in Guangzho, the Tianhe-2, is otherwise known as the Milky Way 2.

The supercomputer has 16,000 nodes, each with two Intel Xeon E5 Ivy Bridge processors and three Xeon Phi 31SP co-processors, for a combined total of 3,120,000 computing cores. This architecture allows it to carry out a massive number of operations in parallel, although reportedly makes it more difficult to write code for. Combined with 1PB (petabyte) of memory, the machine's theoretical peak performance is 54 petaflops. Its draw is a whopping 17.8MW and it runs Kylin Linux and uses TH Express-2 interconnects.

3. Titan - US (Previously: No 2)

Another former frontrunner, Titan’s ability to handle more than 20 quadrillion calculations per second helps researchers at the US Oak Ridge National Laboratory probe climate change, alternate fuel sources and other global challenges.

The Cray XK7 machine relies on a mix of processors, utilising 560,640 cores, split between AMD Opteron 6274 processors, clocked at 2.2GHz, and NVIDIA K20x accelerators. Its peak performance is 27.1 petaflops and it has 710TB of memory. The Titan runs a Linux-based OS made by Cray and uses the Cray Gemini interconnects. It draws 8.2MW.
4. Sequoia - US (Previously: No 3)

Sequoia topped the list in 2012 and was not only the most powerful supercomputer but one of the most efficient at the time.

Still formidable today, it is used by the US Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory to model some of the largest and most complex processes that exist, from an approximation of the universe to the beating of a human heart.

Sequoia is an IBM Blue Gene/Q system, with a peak performance of 20.1 petaflops, achieved using 1,572,864 Power BQC cores, rated at 1.6GHz. The machine has 1.5PB of memory. It uses the CNK and Red Hat Enterprise Linux operating systems and custom interconnects.

5. K computer - Japan (Previously: No 4)

Another longstanding member of the top 10, the K computer was capable of crunching more than eight quadrillion calculations per second at launch.

Based in Kobe's RIKEN Advanced Institute for Computational Science, the K computer is helping tackle major global challenges, engaged in everything from disaster prevention to medical research.

The Fujitsu-designed machine packs in 705,024 SPARC64 VIIIfx processor cores, each rated at 2GHz, and 1.4PB of memory. Capable of a peak performance of 11.2 petaflops, it draws 12.7MW. The machine uses custom interconnects and runs a Linux-based OS.
6. Mira - US (Previously: No 5)

Able to crank through 10 quadrillion calculations per second, Mira helps US researchers model everything from the human body to jet engines.

Installed at the Argonne National Laboratory in Illinois, the IBM BlueGene supercomputer has a peak performance of 10.1 petaflops. The machine relies on 49,152 compute nodes, each with a 16-core PowerPC A2 processor clocked at 1.6GHz, and 16GB DDR3 memory, giving it a total of 786,432 processing cores and 786TB memory. It runs on a Linux-based OS, uses custom interconnects and draws 3.9MW.

7. Trinity - US (Previously: No 6)

By simulating nuclear explosions, the Trinity supercomputer will help the US test the effectiveness of its nuclear arsenal.

Based at Los Alamos National Laboratory, Trinity is a Cray XC40 with a peak performance of 11 petaflops. Despite having a slightly higher peak performance than Mira, Trinity is further down the TOP500 list, due to its slightly lower Linpack benchmark score. The machine relies on 16-core Xeon E5-2698v3 processors, clocked at 2.3GHz, for a total of 301,056 cores.

8. Piz Daint - Switzerland (Previously: No 7)

The prize for the fastest system in Europe goes to Piz Daint, based at the Swiss National Supercomputing Centre.

The research machine is one of the most energy efficient supercomputers, consuming just 2.3MW. Capable of 7.8 petaflops peak performance, the Cray XC30 machine relies on 5,272 compute nodes, each with an eight-core Xeon E5-2670 processor, clocked at 2.6GHz, and a NVIDIA Tesla K20X GPU accelerator. For memory, the machine has a total of 169TB DDR3 and 32TB GDDR5. The system uses Aries interconnects and runs on a Cray Linux OS.

Piz Daint was recently upgraded with a further 1,256 compute nodes, each with two 12-core Intel Xeon E5-2690 v3 CPUs.

9. Hazel Hen - Germany (Previously: No 8)

Another European contender is the Cray-built Hazel Hen, based in Germany.

Situated at the High Performance Computing Center Stuttgart, the machine is helping European researchers study topics ranging from minimizing CO2 emissions to modelling new materials for aerospace.

Hazel Hen is a Cray XC40-system, with a peak performance of 7.4 petaflops. Under the hood are 15,424 Intel Xeon CPU E5-2680 v3 processors, clocked at 2.5 GHz, for a total of 185,088 cores. The machine has about 1PB of memory, relies on Aries interconnects and draws 3.2MW.
10. Shaheen II - Saudi Arabia (Previously: No 9)

First entering the top 10 at seventh place in 2007, the Shaheen II is a Saudi Arabian computer focused on modelling atmospheric dynamics and other complex systems.

Based at King Abdullah University of Science and Technology in Thuwal, the Cray XC40 system relies on more than 12,000 Xeon E5-2698v3 processors, each packing 16 cores clocked at 2.3GHz, for a total of 196,608 cores. It’s capable of 7.2 petaflops peak performance and draws 2.8MW. The system runs a Cray Linux OS and uses Aries interconnects.





Monday, June 20, 2016

Apple IPhones Found to Have Violated Chinese Rival’s Patent (BW)


  • Beijing’s IP Office rules in favor of little-known Baili
  • Apple says iPhone 6 models are available for sale in China

Apple Inc. violated the design patents of a Chinese device maker and may have to halt sales of its latest iPhones in Beijing, the city’s intellectual property authority ruled, handing the U.S. company its latest setback in a pivotal market.

The iPhone 6 and iPhone 6 Plus infringe on Shenzhen Baili’s patent rights because of similarities to its 100C phone, the Beijing Intellectual Property Office wrote in its decision. Apple, whose iconic gadgets helped define the modern smartphone industry, said it’s appealing the ruling and is continuing to sell various iPhone 6 models during the process.

“IPhone 6 and iPhone 6 Plus as well as iPhone 6s, iPhone 6s Plus and iPhone SE models are all available for sale today in China,” Apple spokeswoman Kristin Huguet said in an e-mailed statement. 

“We appealed an administrative order from a regional patent tribunal in Beijing last month and as a result the order has been stayed pending review by the Beijing IP Court.”

Apple shares fell 2.1 percent to $95.46 at 11:04 a.m. in New York Friday. They were down 7.3 percent this year through Thursday.

While the decision covers only Beijing, future lawsuits against Apple could take the case as a precedent, potentially influencing the outcomes of litigation elsewhere in China. Baili is one of scores of smartphone brands trying to cash in on the country’s mobile boom. Xu Guoxiang, the inventor who holds the patent and listed as a Baili representative on yellow-pages site czvv.com, did not answer calls seeking comment.

Tim Long, an analyst at BMO Capital Markets in New York, said he doesn’t think the impact of the Chinese ruling is meaningful.

“We believe there have been several prior cases against US companies ruled in favor of local companies by lower courts that were later overturned by higher courts,” Long wrote in a note to clients. “We have seen dozens of court decisions banning different smartphone products over the years in many different countries. We are not aware of one ever that has resulted in an actual injunction.”

The ruling by the agency -- which administers matters involving patents in Beijing -- is the latest in a series of setbacks for Apple in its largest market after the U.S. Its book and movie services were blocked in April for violating foreign publishing regulations. In 2013, state media accused the company of shoddy customer service and inadequate warranties, prompting an apology from Chief Executive Officer Tim Cook.

Last month, it lost its fight to keep the “iPhone” exclusive to its products after a Beijing court ruled that a little-known accessories maker can use the label for a range of wallets and purses. And in 2012, Apple paid $60 million to Proview International Holdings Ltd. to settle a dispute over the right to the iPad name in China.

Apple has relied on the world’s second-largest economy to sustain its pace of growth, though it has begun to experience a slowdown. For the three months ended March 26, revenue in Greater China, which includes Hong Kong and Taiwan, fell 26 percent to $12.5 billion. Cook has pledged to continue investing despite an economic deceleration.

Friday, June 17, 2016

Watch These Synthetic Leaves Suck CO2 Out of the Sky (BW)


We’ve added more than half a billion tons of carbon to the air since the industrial revolution. This device could help clean it up.

What about all the carbon we've already poured into the atmosphere? If only there were a device that could take some of it back out.

Researchers at Arizona State University’s Center for Negative Carbon Emissions are working on one. They discovered a commercially available resin that can grab carbon dioxide at low concentrations when the material is dry and release it when the material is moist. The CO2 it collects could be stored underground, used in greenhouses, or fed to algae for biofuel production.

"Right now, we are taking carbon out of the ground. We then convert the energy into something useful. Then there’s a third step that we ignore—namely, to clean up after ourselves," said Klaus Lackner, the center’s director.

Scientists Race to Curb Climate Change With Fake Trees and Sun Shields

Critics warn that carbon cleanup technology could weaken the political will to move away from fossil fuels. On the other hand, we’ve added more than half a billion tons of carbon to the air since the industrial revolution, and the resin is the basis for an artificial tree the researchers say can collect roughly 1,000 times as much CO2 as a real tree of comparable size. 

The lab has been experimenting with different ways of fabricating the stuff to maximize its capacity, including running it through a pasta maker and weaving it into a rug.


Thursday, June 16, 2016

The Queen of FM Fights for Her Throne (BW)

Delilah has millions of lovelorn fans.Can radio count them?

by Ira Boudway | June 14, 2016 

From Bloomberg BusinessWeek
At dusk, after bowls of squash soup, slices of dry-aged steak, and forkfuls of pickled onions, peppers, and garlic, after an hour of talk at the kitchen table about a radio career that spans four decades, after touring her 55-acre homestead in evergreen woodlands along an inlet of Puget Sound west of Seattle, after visiting her stable of horses, her hundreds of chickens, dozens of goats, three sheep, two emus, and a zebra named Zena, after coming back in from a damp chill to her dormer-windowed, cedar-shingled house, Delilah Rene Luke is ready to go to work.

“I’ve got to go down and take some calls,” she announces to the kitchen, where 4 of her 12 children are buzzing about with friends and the nanny and her two kids. She asks Bridget, her 18-year-old daughter, to make her a cup of tea and then retreats down a spiral staircase to her basement studio, where Sophie the schnauzer waits on an upholstered footstool under the desk. “She keeps my feet warm,” says the woman known to her listeners simply as Delilah. “I don’t know if you have noticed, but I have to be touching somebody or something I love at all times.”

Dressed in a red turtleneck, black vest, skirt, and tights, Delilah sits down to a microphone with her name in red cursive on the flag, pulls a pair of white headphones over her long blond hair, and starts taking calls. They come from across the country—50,000 attempts a day over eight lines—from the lonely, the lovesick, and people who just want to talk and hear Delilah’s buttery voice answer back. On this Wednesday in January, a woman named Alisha calls to say she still has feelings for a former flame who “kinda cheated” on her.

“You can’t move into a new house or a new apartment if somebody is still living there, huh?” Delilah says.

“That’s right,” Alisha says.

“And no man can come and move into your heart and be good to you so long as you are still renting that space out to the cheater-cheater-where’d-you-meet-her Cameron.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

When the call airs later that evening on Delilah’s eponymous radio show, it’s followed by Like I’m Gonna Lose You by Meghan Trainor.

Delilah is the queen of FM radio. She’s carried nightly on 171 radio stations in North America, usually from 7 p.m. to midnight. Her syndicator, IHeartMedia, also streams the show online in a loop. Eight million people listen at least once a week, according to IHeart. At any given moment, hundreds of thousands are tuned in. There’s nothing else like it in radio: a nationwide evening call-in that mixes talk and music. In February, Delilah celebrated her 56th birthday and 20 years in syndication. “A lot of other shows have come on to challenge her,” says Gary Berkowitz, a longtime broadcast consultant specializing in adult contemporary radio. “I don’t want to say she knocks them out, but they go away, and she stays.”

Yet for all her success beating back rivals, and no woman counts more listeners, Delilah is fighting to hold her place. Trends in radio have turned sharply against her. Adult contemporary, the format for almost all of her carriers, has gone into decline, with programmers preferring newer, more up-tempo music—less Fleetwood Mac and more Katy Perry. From 2007 to last year, the number of adult contemporary stations fell from 660 to 600, according to Insideradio.com. Soft adult contemporary, the even milder variant, lost more than half its stations, dropping from 242 to 115. Many of the remaining AC stations have cut back on DJ talk, filling the time with music and, in some cases, abandoning Delilah’s show. Between format changes and drops, she’s lost more than 50 carriers from her peak of 225 in 2008.

Delilah has little doubt why. She blames the Portable People Meter, a wireless device roughly the size of an old-fashioned cell phone and worn like a pager, that Nielsen uses to measure radio audiences. The meter, known as PPM, began replacing listener diaries in 2007. Over the next three years, they became the method for tracking ratings in 48 of the largest markets in the country. (Arbitron, then the leader in radio ratings, managed the rollout. Nielsen bought Arbitron in 2013.) The meters were controversial from the start.

When they came to Philadelphia in 2007, the ratings for R&B, soul, and hip-hop plummeted. The pattern repeated in other markets, where Spanish-language stations also took a hit. Five states eventually sued Arbitron for discrimination, accusing the company of failing to represent minorities in its sample groups. In settlements, Arbitron paid several hundred thousand dollars in fines, promised to improve its sampling, and added a disclaimer to its PPM ratings saying they “should not be relied upon for precise accuracy.” Other formats also suffered. Smooth jazz all but disappeared. Ratings for many talk shows dipped.

For Delilah, it was a disaster. Often, when a city moved to PPM, thousands of her listeners seemed to vanish. Relaxed conversations and mellow songs—the things that make her show—suddenly fell out of favor with programmers. “The damage is horrendous,” she says, her famously warm voice turning hot. “It’s destroying radio in general, and especially shows that don’t play for the meter.”

Delilah got her first radio job in seventh grade, after she won a speech contest at her school in the tiny coastal town of Reedsport, Ore. The judges, who owned a local radio station, offered to make her a correspondent for her school and its sports teams, the Reedsport Braves. She learned to edit reel-to-reel tapes and filed three-minute dispatches called “Delilah Luke on the Warpath.”

The second of four children, she left home the day she graduated high school. She’d arrived home late after a graduation party and found her luggage packed and waiting at the door. She moved 30 miles south to Coos Bay and got a job hosting the afternoon drive on an FM rock station. “It was fun,” she says at the kitchen table, “Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun.” From Coos Bay, she moved to Eugene and, in 1981, at the age of 21, to Seattle. Two years later, the rock station where she was working changed formats to soft adult contemporary in an effort to attract women. The new station, KLSY, put Delilah on at night, pushing buttons and reading the time and temperature. Listeners would call her to make requests and, sometimes, just for company. Delilah recorded some of those calls and brought them to management with a pitch for an evening call-in-dedication show.

“I wanted to do something that nobody else was doing,” she says. “I didn’t have a mentor. There were no other women on the radio.”

The station decided to let her try it during the final two hours of her 7 p.m.-to-midnight shift, when there wasn’t much to lose. “We weren’t going to scare off a whole bunch of listeners,” says Dana Horner, then general manager at KLSY. The first episode of Lights Out With Delilah Rene (she’d dropped “Luke”) aired in October 1984. KLSY’s ratings improved right away. “It took off,” Horner says. The station quickly moved to the top of the Seattle market in evenings and, more important, to No. 1—day and night—for women.

Four years later, KLSY fired Delilah. New management felt she was dominating the station’s identity. “They paid this asshole $10,000 to write a report,” she recalls. “He concluded that I was the tail wagging the dog … that they needed to get rid of me so that the rest of the station could shine.” It was the first of many testaments to the power of Delilah’s brand. She’s usually the best-known personality on any station she’s on and often in an entire market, according to consultant Berkowitz. “When I’m doing a focus group, I’ll say, ‘Let’s talk about the DJs,’ ” he says. The first response is usually, “Oh, how about Delilah?” Not everybody likes her, Berkowitz says, but they all know her.

In 1988, though, she was still a long way from national celebrity. Jobless, with a 4-year-old son and two broken marriages, she went to an oldies station across town and did a midday show without callers. Then KLSY changed management (again) and wooed her back. Her evening show was a hit (again), but Delilah left (again), this time over a pay dispute. In 1990 she took an offer to bring the show to Boston, where it was called The Quiet Storm. Over the next six years, she ricocheted from Boston to Philadelphia and back to Boston, where she was let go, yet again, when her station changed formats.

At the start of 1996, Delilah was out of a job, married for a third time, with a 1-year-old daughter by her new husband, and, for the moment, separated from him. There was no particular reason to think she would be anything other than another FM DJ who followed work from station to station before giving up and settling into a more stable, anonymous life. In February she moved with her two kids and closest friend, who was also her producer, to Rochester, N.Y., where her friend knew someone willing to help them try to launch a syndicated show.

For much of the 1990s, while Delilah was struggling to find a foothold, Ron Kolessar was sitting in a sealed acoustic lab at Arbitron’s offices in Columbia, Md., trying to perfect a new way to count radio listeners. Early in 1992, Kolessar’s bosses asked him to come up with something better than paper diaries. Arbitron had used the surveys for decades, relying on panelists to write down what they heard over the course of a week and mail it in. People tended to misremember or self-edit. Sometimes, says Kolessar, then the company’s director of technology, a diarist would claim to have listened to the same station 24 hours a day, seven days a week. He and a team of about 20 engineers began sifting ideas for a more “passive” method, something that would automate the record keeping.

The answer, they decided, was encoding. They would bury sonic codes in broadcasts and then program portable receivers to decipher them and transmit logs back to Arbitron. The trick was to keep human ears from noticing. To be picked up by the meter’s microphone—and not drive dogs crazy—code had to be added at frequencies audible to people and then masked inside whatever else was on the air. The Arbitron engineers listened to a handful of songs over and over during testing, including Billy Ray Cyrus’s 1992 hit Achy Breaky Heart. “I don’t think I could ever listen to it again,” says Kolessar, now happily retired.

It took 13 years and about $40 million, by his estimate, to come up with a prototype. Arbitron then had to persuade stations to install encoders and to pay about 40 percent more for ratings, advertisers to use the data in contracts, and panelists to wear meters. By 2010 the company had cracked 48 markets. The rollout stalled there. Recruiting panelists became prohibitively expensive, even after cutting sample sizes by about two-thirds from the diary system, says industry analyst Richard Harker, whose company, Harker Research, consults with programmers and advertisers. Nielsen paid $1.3 billion to acquire Arbitron in 2013. It now has about 60,000 meters running at any given time, ranging from about 4,500 in New York City to fewer than a thousand in places such as Memphis and Hartford. It still uses paper diaries in 224 smaller markets.

Delilah After Dark went on the air in February 1996 in Rochester, Pittsburgh, and West Palm Beach, Fla. By the end of the year, it was on 12 stations. Ken Spitzer, who’d persuaded Delilah to come to Rochester and sponsored the show, sold the rights to Broadcast Programming in Seattle. At the start of 1997, Delilah moved back west, and the show boomed. By the summer of 1999, when Jones International bought Broadcast for $21 million, based in large part on the strength of her show, Delilah was on almost 200 stations.

Listeners across the country, especially women, began making her a nightly companion. Between songs, she told them about her stormy childhood, failed marriages, and past struggles with alcoholism and eating disorders. She talked about the time she tried to introduce her first husband, a black man, to her father and he came to the door with a shotgun. “It’s a very personal show,” says Harker, who’s surveyed Delilah listeners dozens of times. “People who listen to her regularly know a great deal about her and her travails.” To them, Delilah’s messy past is only more reason to trust her. She’s been there.

Over the years her anecdotes have veered toward the more mundane concerns of a middle-aged mom. In 1999, Delilah adopted three children from foster care just before discovering she was pregnant with another son. The next year she broke up with her third husband, this time for good, and bought the farmhouse on Puget Sound, in Port Orchard, Wash. She later adopted an infant boy and an adult woman into the family. In 2008, after several trips to West Africa, she began taking in refugee children from there. Of her 12 dependents, 9 are adopted, including 4 from Ghana. (A fifth adoptee from Ghana died of sickle cell anemia in 2012.) Six of them still live with her.

“Stray kids, stray dogs, stray horses, stray zebras, the emu!” she says, ticking through her menagerie of orphans during a tour of the farm. “A stray pig showed up Saturday.” Unless someone claims it, the pig will stay. In the mornings, Delilah cooks, rides her horse Shadow, gardens, and looks after her children with the help of a live-in nanny and her fourth husband. (She married again in 2013.) In the evenings, she goes downstairs and talks to strangers about her day. “I hope your daughter didn’t get in trouble on the school bus the way my daughter did,” she tells listeners on the day of my visit.

In the hour that I’m with her in the studio, Delilah records nine calls. (Her normal rate is 40 to 50 per night.) She screens them herself, telling callers to speak up and turn off any background noise and that she’ll be back in a few minutes to record. The things they say on the air are raw and spontaneous. Along with Alisha, the jilted girlfriend, there’s Barbara, who worries that her husband won’t be well enough to walk their daughter down the aisle; Lori, whose teenage son is struggling in school; and Derek, who wants to thank his mother for supporting him during cancer treatment.

Delilah gives them self-help talk (“Anything worth having is worth fighting for”), a little religion (“I’m going to say a prayer that God keeps you two close forever”), and sappy love songs. Barbara gets I Hope You Dance by LeAnne Womack; Lori, Just the Way You Are by Bruno Mars; and Derek, I’ll Stand by You by the Pretenders. Delilah or Jane Bulman, her lead producer and roommate from back in Rochester, picks the songs. Delilah says her memory catalogs lyrics even when she’d rather forget them. Bulman and four others work from a studio in Seattle, with an open line back to Delilah’s basement. After each call, Delilah hollers out, “Hey guys, I just took a great call!” or “Awesome call!”

For station managers across the country, Delilah’s ability to draw listeners at night was like found money. (Radio consumption works inversely to television’s: It peaks during the morning drive and falls off once commuters get home.) Nighttime ad minutes, until Delilah, were often worthless or close to it. To get her show, stations had to surrender some of that time to the syndicator. “Those are advertising minutes that may have gone unsold, so you’re not really taking cash out of the till,” says Tom Chase, former program director at KSNE, a Delilah station in Las Vegas.

In 2004, Delilah bought back the rights to her show from Jones and then leased them to Premiere Networks, the syndication arm of IHeartMedia. Premiere barters for minutes from each Delilah station, typically three minutes an hour during the show, plus one minute a day from more valuable daytime hours, then bundles and sells the time at wholesale rates to national advertisers such as Home Depot, General Motors, J.C. Penney, and anybody else looking to sell to women age 25 to 54. “If you are Walgreens selling prescriptions,” says her manager, Kraig Kitchin, “you want to use Delilah’s voice.”

Over the course of a year, between national and local time, Delilah supports millions of minutes of ads. Her show is worth about $15 million per year to Premiere, according to Kitchin. “She’s a very valuable piece of the IHeartMedia family,” says Julie Talbott, the company’s president of content and affiliate services, who declined to put a number on that value. Kitchin is the founder of Premiere Networks and Talbott’s former boss. He left in 2007, eight years after the company became a part of IHeart. While still at Premiere, in 2004, he pursued Delilah and pried her away from Jones International. Her first contract with Premiere was worth about $40 million over eight years, plus a $10 million signing bonus. “I didn’t realize the economics that weren’t coming my way until I met you,” Delilah says to Kitchin, who sits at the end of the kitchen table during our interview.

Barbara Bridges, program director at Mix 92.9 in Nashville, carried Delilah for 15 years before she dropped the show in 2013, three years after Portable People Meters came to the market. “We saw ups and downs that we suffered through in diary,” Bridges says of Delilah’s ratings, “but when it got to PPM, there were more downs than ups.” Bridges installed a local host in the evenings and says she has been pleased with the results. Chase, the former program director in Las Vegas, also dropped Delilah, in 2010, after ratings declines under PPM.

For Bridges and Chase, it doesn’t matter whether PPM numbers are valid, as long as advertisers pay based on them. If Delilah can’t boost the value of nighttime ads, it’s no longer worth surrendering a daytime minute to get her. The lost value, says Chase, can be six figures per year in a large market—the equivalent of a “hefty salary” for an on-air personality.

Delilah, however, insists that her listeners never went away. PPM sample sizes, she says, are too small, and the device itself is faulty. She’s not alone in saying this. “She’s collateral damage,” says Harker, a vocal critic of PPM. In many markets, he contends, there aren’t enough meters running to be reliable. For an evening show like Delilah’s, as few as six meters can represent her listeners. “Just one disappearing is 17 percent of your audience,” he says. Nielsen, in an e-mailed statement, said PPM “yield statistical reliability … that is comparable to and in most instances better than the reliability from the former diary.” The Media Rating Council, the industry-funded organization that reviews ratings methods, has accredited PPM in 26 of 48 markets, a fact that both sides of the debate use as ammunition. (The remaining markets, including New York City, are still under review.)

Harker, along with Delilah, her manager, and others in the industry, also believes that meters often fail to register softer types of programming. The encoded signals need sounds in a particular range (1-to-3 kilohertz) to hide behind. Most of the time, it’s not an issue. But if a station’s encoder detects that there isn’t enough energy to cover its beeps, it automatically withholds them. On-air callers, for instance, can be hard to mask. “You’ll be broadcasting just fine, and you take a caller,” Harker says. “Suddenly, as far as the meter is concerned, you stop broadcasting.” Smooth jazz, soft rock, and talk, he says, all tend to drop in and out.

“We did testing of every possible genre and every possible combination and found that encoding was completely adequate,” says Kolessar, who was PPM’s lead engineer at Arbitron. The standard unit of measure in radio ratings is a quarter hour. Since encoded signals usually go out every minute, he says, any normal programming will show up, despite the occasional gap. Nielsen maintains that the PPM provides “consistent and high-quality measurement across all formats and programs” and says it’s working to make the technology better. “The electronics give, I believe, the truth,” says Kolessar, “which is sometimes not what people want to hear.”

It’s impossible to know exactly how many people listen to Delilah. Paper diaries, as even Kitchin allows, might tilt in her favor. Her typical listener, a woman 25 to 54, tends to be more scrupulous about record keeping than, say, a 21-year-old man. Plus, as Nielsen’s earlier switch to set-top meters for TV showed, diaries favor broad-channel entertainment. “People remember the big programs and stations that they watched,” says James Webster, a professor at Northwestern University’s School of Communication who studies media measurement.

Meters aim for accuracy. They pick up sound that a person is exposed to—whether in the car, at home, or in a drugstore—and report back. Diaries are more about significance. What were you paying attention to? What do you want the world to know that you like? Meters reveal fickle listeners, catching bits of eight or nine different stations per week. Diaries reveal loyalists, tuning in to two or three favorites. The radio industry is now split between trying to serve both. “The initial overreaction was that PPM says, ‘Play music and as little else as possible,’ ” says Sean Ross, vice president for music and programming at Edison Research. “Broadcasters are still trying to figure out the balance. Some people very strongly believe that people like Delilah are the reason you would still turn on broadcast radio.”

Delilah is defiant. “I’m going to stand my ground,” she says. “I’m not stupid. I’m not going to blow up my career and break a promise to my listeners because somebody’s having a knee-jerk reaction to a piece of machinery.” Still, she has made concessions. In 2013, Premiere began offering stations a “segmented” version of her show that allowed them to select the songs that weren’t caller dedications. This way they can insert more of the upbeat tunes that PPM rewards. There are now five editions of the show: custom versions for New York and Houston, the primary that most stations get, a Christian version, and the segmented shows.

At KSNE in Las Vegas, Chase brought Delilah back once he could pick more of the music. The station is one of about 40 that use the segmented version. Chase says that Delilah’s producers also started trimming calls more. “It was just tweaking the show so that it could have the maximum success within the PPM methodology and yet retain that magic that it’s always had,” he says. “As soon as we brought her back, ratings went right through the roof.” (Kitchin says the shorter calls are just a natural evolution of the show’s editing process.)

In January, Delilah signed a new multiyear deal with Premiere. IHeartMedia’s Talbott declined to say for how much or how long. “I could drive myself crazy trying to analyze that,” she says of the PPM controversy, “but the most important thing for us is we know the power of the Delilah brand.” Premiere markets Delilah as an influencer beyond what the meters show. Her listeners, according to the syndicator, trust her more than the average DJ. To leverage that power, Delilah has begun integrating brands into her chatter. She talks, for instance, about the gardening tools she gets from Home Depot. Delilah sits in on meetings with the retailer, says Talbott, and peppers them with product suggestions: “She takes a deep interest in her advertisers and strategizing on what she knows that her listeners would like.”

Talbott remains confident that she’s not buying past performance. She says the show is beginning to draw a second generation of listeners, young women who grew up hearing it with their mothers and are seeking it out themselves: “We call that the come-home-to-Delilah moment.”

In the basement in Port Orchard, I get to hear one: “My mom has been listening to you for as long as I can remember, probably back when I was in a car seat,” says a caller named Becca, now a college student who hears the show on trips to and from campus with her mom. “We’ll be listening to you, and my mom will just say, ‘One of these days I really hope your dad or maybe you or your sister or brother will call in for me and ask for a song.’ And you know, I was baking some apple pie that my mom makes, and I’m listening to you, and I’m like, ‘You know what, why not try?’ So I’m actually here, and I am telling you how great my mom is.”

Cue Thank You by Dido, and pray the meters are listening.